Article Source: msnbc.msn.com
Article by: Stacey Boyd
Parenting expert Stacey Boyd offers simple, easy ways to transform your habits and provide a healthier environment for your little ones.
1. Reclaim your home
Resolve that one day each week will be a day without television, videos, computers and electronics of any sort. Shut the things off! Be present with your child without beeps, flashes, music and voices other than your own distracting you from one another.
2. Celebrate boredom
Resist the pressure to become your child’s day planner, social secretary and entertainment organizer. Allow for days where nothing is planned. Don’t protect your child from a day with nothing to do. Day after day filled with adult-organized activities and events destroys any possibility of creativity or self-discovery.
3. Get creative together
Play together, fantasize together, and get creative together using only the simplest of materials: old clothes, a cardboard box, crayons, paper and glue. Pretend to explore a world under the sea or find wood nymphs and fairies. Make up characters and go on grand adventures. Together. For ideas and suggestions, visit www.savvysource.com/activities.
4. Stop rescuing
A friend recently told me a story about her dog, who showed up at the back door with a muddy rabbit hanging from its jaws. Horrified upon realizing that the rabbit was her neighbor’s daughter’s rabbit, and very dead, she proceeded to take the rabbit, wash it, blow-dry its fur, sneak over to her neighbor’s yard and carefully slip the now very well groomed but still very dead rabbit back into its cage.
Well, the next day she saw her neighbor, who looked shell-shocked. When she gingerly asked her what was wrong, the neighbor said that their pet rabbit had recently died. She and her daughter had talked about death and given their sweet, dear bunny a proper burial. But yesterday the rabbit had miraculously reappeared. She told my friend that she and her daughter were now struggling to understand what possibly could have happened!
The moral of the story? Our hardest responsibility as parents, I think, is to prepare our children for a world that is not always kind and gentle and accommodating. Oftentimes, we try to protect them from its ugliness. But the better the job we do of giving them tools to handle hardship, the better equipped our children will be to thrive in the world they inherit.
5. Get out of the way
Adults sometimes need to get out of children’s way. Give your child time, either alone or with friends, that is largely unsupervised and where an adult will only intervene when the screams reach a high decibel level. Teach your children to trust in themselves. Let them make mistakes and experience the consequences.
6. Don’t be afraid to deny your child
Intentionally deny your child something he “really wants.” Don’t just delay its acquisition, but never allow the desired object into your home. Have conversations about the experience of disappointment. Share your own experiences of how it feels to not get something you “really want.”
7. Less is more
Don’t buy into the “more is better” culture. Almost always less is more. That is important for us to keep in mind and is a wonderfully teachable moment during these uncertain economic times.
8. Plan a long weekend away
One for just you and your spouse, and resist the urge to check in by phone every hour. Your children will survive and everyone will benefit.
9. Have faith
Have faith in something and share it openly with your children. It can be God, the universe, love or the inherent goodness of your fellow man. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can pass on to your children.
10. Remember life before children
Have a life of your own replete with activities, friends and interests. As James Baldwin said, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” So imagine the life you want for your children when they are your age. Then live it.
Learn more about “Resolutions and Reflections: Getting the New Year Started Off Right” at www.savvysource.com, the guide to all things educational for your little ones.
Article Source: ocregister.com
Article by: Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel
Ways to keep from being angry with your kids or having them misbehave to get your attention.
There are no reruns in the parenting game. Let us commit to these standards of parenting in pursuit of raising reliable, responsible, respectful, loving human beings:
(1)I choose to remind myself on a daily basis that a child is constantly asking, “Is this how I use power?” It is unnecessary to get angry when you create consistent boundaries and serve fair consequences to answer the question.
(2)I choose to spend more with my children. Children want more time with Mom and Dad. Eating dinner together, playing board games, and going places together needs to replace watching TV and individual use of electric gadgets.
(3)I choose to teach my children to learn from their mistakes by having them serve the consequences of their own choices. A consequence gives feedback that an appropriate or inappropriate choice was made; it invites a child to change his/her behavior.
(4)I choose not to yell, scream or hit my children. If you are angry all the time it is because your discipline system is not consistent. Children push boundaries because they can. It is possible to get children to always mind without anger. See parentingsos.com.
(5)I choose to listen to my child before I respond to him/her. A child who does not feel heard misbehaves to get the parent’s attention. If you can’t listen at that moment, set a timer and tell your child you will listen when it rings —Then listen!
(6) I choose not to put unreasonable expectations on my child. We are rushing our children, filling them with fear about not doing well enough, letting them watch media programs that are too old for them, and pushing them to excel in sports. The cost of this is low self-esteem; burn out, drugs, and even suicide.
(7) I choose to teach my child HOW to do what I want him/her to do. Constant criticism often results in a child being unable to fit adults’ invisible expectations. Be clear in what you want and be sure your child knows how to do the task.
(8) I choose to realize that each child is unique and thus different from every other child. A parents’ job is to help a child realize his/her gifts and to use them well.
(9) I choose not to take my love away, no matter what a child does. The greatest gift you can give your child is to keep love as a constant, “I am very upset with your choice and I always love you.” Children who are manipulated by a withdrawal of love do not feel safe in their home.
(10) I choose not to take this time with each child for granted. What once seemed an eternity (especially on a difficult day) is soon just a memory.
Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Lori Soard
Whether you have wonderful Christmas memories from your childhood or your memories are lacking in that area, chances are that you want to create magical Christmas moments for your children that they will treasure for a lifetime. Every family has unique traditions that are passed down from one generation to the next. Sometimes those traditions are commonly shared by many different people: purchasing and putting up the Christmas tree, having ham on Christmas day or going shopping the day after Thanksgiving.
Each family has to find the ideas and the memories that work best for their needs. Sometimes, your Christmas will look really different than the ones you grew up with, but that’s okay too. Here are some ideas, but they are just ideas, for making memorable Christmas moments. Because traditions are so unique, use these as a springboard to create your own special traditions. These are some things that our family does:
* Make cookies. Every year we make Christmas cookies. We stopped going through the process of making our own dough, rolling it out and cutting once the girls got older, though. It is just too time consuming and doesn’t suit our purposes. Instead, we purchase pre-made dough and bake it and ice if appropriate. It takes much less time, which helps us with our next part of this tradition. We make up plates of cookies and goodies and try to find people we think need cheering up to take them to. It almost always brings a smile to the recipient’s face. This is truly one of the highlights of our year, making someone else happy.
* Adopt an angel. Every year, since our girls were tiny, we have taken angels off the angel trees and purchased gifts for others. We do not know these people typically. They may have a real need or they may not, but we hope at least some do. When the girls were very small, they would each pick a child close to their age. Now that they are older, we choose a child as a family. We usually try to pick a teen as they don’t always get bought for. Sometimes we choose a boy and sometimes a girl. If we can afford it, we choose two. We then try to make the season memorable for that child. For example, last year we had a teen boy from the angel tree at our church. He asked for gloves, a scarf and a music CD. We quickly realized that this was a kid that didn’t want much. What he NEEDED and a single music CD. We went crazy. We went out and bought him a coat, tons of music, a small MP3 player, a couple of hand held games and some clothing. This is a tradition that our family really gets into. It feels so good to give to others and is truly in the spirit of Christmas. And what better thing to teach your children? I think this is my favorite tradition.
* Put up a Christmas tree. So what, you may be thinking. Who doesn’t put up a Christmas tree? But think about how you put it up. Do you gripe and grumble about having to lug it out or go and get a live one? Do you complain as the needles drop on the floor? Do you tell your kids they aren’t doing this or that right? Do you freak out if the garland is out of place? I’m not accusing, just asking. I can be guilty of this as well. However, when I think back on my own childhood memories, I realize that one of my favorite memories is decorating the Christmas tree every year. My mother never said a word when the garland was lopsided or all the ornaments were near the bottom. She let me scatter all the tinsel in one spot and didn’t move it around later. So what if people think your tree looks crazy. Are you putting it up for them or for your children?
* Go Caroling. Every year we go out with our church and sing Christmas songs in various neighborhoods. We never hit the same places twice. This is so much fun. The way that people light up when a group shows up and asks to sing Christmas carols is something that warms my heart. Try to find a group or get a group together and go sing songs to folks. Some tried and true favorites that are easy to sing? Away in a Manger, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jingle Bells, Joy to the World and Frosty the Snowman.
* Open Your Gifts Early. Every year, my mother would give in and let me open at least one or two presents before Christmas Day. Of course, I pestered her to pieces to get her to let me, but it was still a good memory. I always chose the largest box of course. I think those memories of the excitement of an early present stayed with me, because our family has always opened a present on Christmas Eve. My kids never had to ask. I always offered. Now that they are older and they no longer have to wait for Santa to come visit, we typically open all our gifts on Christmas Eve.
* Dinner/Schminner. Are you killing yourself cooking a 20 course meal for dinner on Christmas Day? Why? How can you possibly enjoy your family if you spend all your time cooking? If you have dinner at your home, offer to make the main dish (turkey or ham - try not to do both unless it is a huge group) and recruit the guests to bring the sides. It will be very little work for any one person and you’ll actually get to enjoy your company. Why use the fine china? You’ll simply have to clean it later. What’s wrong with plastic plates and plastic ware? In fact, I wouldn’t do any dishes that weren’t absolutely necessary. Our family has started a new tradition as of last year. For anyone who has seen A Christmas Story, you’ll understand where I came up with the idea. We go out for Chinese food for our Christmas dinner. We already have a huge family dinner the day before. This is our day for our small little family of four (six if my parents are home with us) without anyone having to cook or clean up afterwards. After our meal, we go see a movie. Our teen and tween daughters absolutely adore this new tradition. I asked them this year if they wanted Mom to cook or they wanted to do what we did last year and got a resounding, “Chinese!”
Although these are a few fun ideas, don’t feel limited by them. The only good tradition is the one that works for your family and that your family all enjoy. Ask your kids and your spouse what they want to do this year. Be flexible, stop stressing and look for ways to create good memories that will last into the twilight years of your your life, your children’s lives and may even be passed on to future generations. Imagine your great-grandaughter telling her child, “Grandma Rose (insert your name) always let us do cartwheels in the house on Christmas Day.” or “Grandpa Frank (insert your name) always made his peanut butter fudge for us and this is his recipe.”
Although these are a few fun ideas, don’t feel limited by them. The only good tradition is the one that works for your family and that your family all enjoy. Ask your kids and your spouse what they want to do this year. Be flexible, stop stressing and look for ways to create good memories that will last into the twilight years of your your life, your children’s lives and may even be passed on to future generations. Imagine your great-grandaughter telling her child, “Grandma Rose (insert your name) always let us do cartwheels in the house on Christmas Day.” or “Grandpa Frank (insert your name) always made his peanut butter fudge for us and this is his recipe.”
Article Source: nashuatelegraph.com
Six-year-old Madison at bedtime. Hair done in ponytails. Flannel PJs and well-loved stuffed animals all around. Moments before the final kiss and lights out:
“Mommy, is Santa real?”
Uh oh. Critical parenting moment. Your heart skips a beat. Your eyes dash furtively from side to side as if Penelope Leach or Barry Brazelton or Dr. Spock (think diapers, not dilithium crystals) or at least your co-parent might magically intercede with words of great wisdom.
Nope. You’re on your own.
“Uh . . . ummm . . . what do you think, honey?”
OK. That’s a good start. You know that when your kids come to you with a question that makes you pause, you’re always safe to start either with “What do you think?” or “How does that make you feel?”
The first will help you determine where to start, as in the story of the kindergartener who came home from school and said to his dad, “What’s sex?” Daddy certainly could have launched in a lecture about procreation, but was wise enough to start with, “What do you think?” When 5-year-old Billy said his best friend got one for his birthday and could he get one, too? Dad knew where to go with the question, and that included nothing about “sex.”
“How does that make you feel?” works equally well in different circumstances. When we’re wise and mature enough to recognize that the content of the child’s comment isn’t what the question is about, the best first choice is to ask about the feelings.
When 12-year-old Sally asks tearfully if she can go to the dance or 8-year-old Sam asks you to pass the salt in a loud voice with teeth bared, responding to the obvious emotion will always be a good first step.
To 12-year-old Sally, a simple “What’s wrong, Sweetie?” might open the floodgates to reveal that her three best friends are going without her and they told the boy she likes that she likes him and he . . . well, you know how that one goes.
To 8-year-old Sam, an offhand “Whoa . . . you seem really mad . . .” while you’re passing the salt at the supper table might not seem to get you anywhere, but, in fact, you’ve accomplished two important first steps:
• You’ve labeled the obvious emotion that may help Sam label his own experience next time rather than growl and fuss at the supper table.
• You’ve also given him permission to talk about the feeling. He might say “I am not!” or “Can I please have the salt now?” or nothing at all, but he might also say “My teacher took my video game again and you’ve gotta go talk to her!”
In either case, there’s seldom harm done in labeling the feeling.
Back to Madison. Big yawn. Sleepy stretch under a princess comforter. You just replied to her Santa question with “What do you think?”
“I don’t know, but some kids on the playground said that Marcy’s big sister told her that there’s no such thing as Santa, and I’m a baby if I really believe in him, and I told them that I’m not a baby but I just don’t know cuz last year Santa got me my favorite doll, Molly, but I never saw him except that one time at the mall when I was a baby . . .”
Phew. Long string of pressured words. Isn’t this always the way it goes at bedtime? Not just with kids, but for you, as well? It’s as if those deep, relaxing breaths that precede sleep help thinking. (Hmmm . . . I wonder what some deep, relaxing breaths during the day might do.)
There’s a lot to respond to here. Choices to be made. Who are the kids on the playground that she’s hanging out with? How old is Marcy’s big sister and what else might she be exposing the little kids to? Is it time to talk about peer pressure (again)? Or is this an opportunity to plead your case that she is your baby and always will be your baby (again)?
Has the cavalry arrived yet to rescue you? Nope.
Should you make an excuse – oops, you left the stove on or that call that you were supposed to make and forgot? Nope.
Well, then, is it time to burst her bubble? To push her one small step further into the ranks of the disillusioned? To rip away the rose-colored glasses and invite her to peek at the little man behind the curtain in Oz?
You could, and many parents do. After all, what’s all the fuss about? With drugs and alcohol rampant in our culture, with a housing crisis and a financial crisis and global warming and affording college tuition looking as likely as winning the Nobel Peace Prize, and there have been layoffs at work, and the furnace should probably be replaced this season, and the doctor said you should see a specialist soon . . . with all of that clogging your brain, who has time to fuss and bother over fairy tales and magic?
But wait! This isn’t about Santa or even about Christmas. The question might just as well be about the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy or Tony the Tiger. She might as well have asked if there really is a man in the moon, if the Earth was created in six days, if Grandma is in heaven or even – much more profoundly – if you’ll promise that she’ll be safe while she sleeps and that you’ll always take care of her.
This is (probably) not about facts and mathematical proofs and dictionary definitions. She gets enough of those at school. The question wouldn’t have come up at this most vulnerable and tender moment – bedtime – if it was something she wanted Googled or the subject of a research paper.
Leave the teaching to the teachers. Let go of your own need to impress your kids with your incredible and amazing intellect, your vast fund of knowledge and your profound worldly experience. They’ll seldom show it, but they already stand in awe of you.
That’s simply and finally how kids see parents through most of childhood (until adolescence, when they have to tear you to shreds to make room for their own fragile self and then, maybe later, when they finally feel secure, they can make room for you again).
No, I believe that had Barry Brazelton or Penelope Leach or Dr. Spock (think cling-on, not Klingon) magically appeared to rescue you when the first “Is Santa real?” question occurred, each would have said this:
“Childhood is far too fleeting. The harsh realities of the adult world impose themselves younger and younger every day. Let your kids remain kids as long as they can.”
So, you’re supposed to lie?
No.
True, now and again a white lie may be necessary. When separated and conflicted co-parents are together and the kids are nearby, for example, each should lie with a smile on their faces: “Hi, Mike, how are you?” “Fine, thanks, Sue. Nice to see you. How are you?”
No. “Is Santa real?” doesn’t call for a lie, exactly. It calls for what parents do best and should whenever possible. It calls for nurturance. Reassurance.
“Is Santa real, Mommy?”
“Well, I know that I believe in him, and I think you should believe in whatever you want to believe in, Sweetie, no matter what anyone says on the playground or anywhere.”
Kiss. Hug. Lights out.
“Sweet dreams. The holidays are almost here!”
Dr. Benjamin Garber is a child psychologist in Merrimack. To order his latest book, “Keeping Kids Out of the Middle,” or to reach him with comments and questions, call 879-9100 or visit www.healthyparent.com. Copyright 2008 Benjamin Garber, all rights reserved.
Article Source: mayoclinic.com
Helping an adolescent become a caring, independent and responsible adult is no small task. Follow these parenting tips for teens, from setting limits to enforcing consequences.
Adolescence can be a confusing time of change for teens and parents alike. But while these years can be difficult, there’s plenty you can do to nurture your teen and encourage responsible behavior. Consider these parenting tips for teens.
Show your love
One of the most important parenting tips for teens involves positive attention. Spend time with your teen to remind him or her that you care. Listen to your teen when he or she talks, and respect your teen’s feelings. Also, keep in mind that only reprimanding your teen and never giving him or her any justified praise can prove demoralizing. For every time you discipline your teen, aim to compliment him or her twice.
If your teen doesn’t seem interested in bonding, keep trying. Regularly eating meals together may be a good way to stay connected to your teen. Better yet, invite your teen to prepare the meal with you. You also might encourage your teen to talk to other supportive adults, such as an uncle or older cousin, for guidance.
Minimize pressure
Don’t pressure your teen to be like you were or wish you had been at his or her age. Give your teen some leeway when it comes to clothing and hairstyles. It’s natural for teens to rebel and express themselves in ways that differ from their parents.
If your teen shows an interest in body art — such as tattoos and piercings — make sure he or she understands the health risks, such as skin infections, allergic reactions, and hepatitis B and C. Also talk about potential permanence or scarring.
As you allow your teen some degree of self-expression, remember that you can still maintain high expectations for your teen and the kind of person he or she will become.
Encourage cybersafety
Get to know the technology your teen is using and the Web sites he or she visits. If possible, keep the computer in a common area in your house. Remind your teen to practice these basic safety rules:
* Don’t share personal information online
* Don’t get together with someone you meet online
* Don’t send anything in a message you wouldn’t say face to face
* Don’t text while driving
* Talk to a parent or trusted adult if an interaction or message makes you uncomfortable
Set limits
To encourage your teen to behave well, identify what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behavior at home, at school and elsewhere. As you establish appropriate rules, explain to your teen the behavior you expect as well as the consequences for complying and disobeying. Consider these parenting tips for teens when setting limits:
* Avoid ultimatums. Your teen may view an ultimatum as condescending and interpret it as a challenge.
* Be specific. Rather than telling your teen not to stay out late, set a specific curfew.
* Be concise. Keep your rules short and to the point.
* Put rules in writing. Use this technique to counter a selective memory.
* Be flexible. As your teen demonstrates more responsibility, grant him or her more freedom. If your teen shows poor judgment, impose more restrictions.
* Be prepared to explain your decision. Your teen may be more likely to comply with a rule when he or she understands its purpose.
* Be reasonable. Avoid setting rules your teen can’t possibly follow. A chronically messy teen may not be able to maintain a spotless bedroom overnight.
Not sure if you’re setting reasonable limits? Talk to your teen, other parents and your teen’s doctor. Whenever possible, give your teen a say in establishing the rules he or she is expected to follow.
Prioritize rules
While it’s important to consistently enforce your rules, you can occasionally make exceptions when it comes to matters such as homework habits, TV watching and bedtime. Prioritizing rules will give you and your teen a chance to practice negotiating and compromising. Before negotiating with your teen, however, consider how far you’re willing to bend. Don’t negotiate when it comes to restrictions imposed for your teen’s safety, such as substance abuse, sexual activity and reckless driving. Make sure your teen knows early on that you won’t tolerate tobacco, alcohol or other drug use.
Enforce consequences
Enforcing consequences can be tough — but your teen needs you to be his or her parent, not a pal. Being too lenient may send the message that you don’t take your teen’s behavior seriously, while being too harsh can cause resentment. Consider these methods:
* Active ignoring. Tell your teen that you’ll talk to him or her when the whining, sulking or yelling stops. Ignore your teen in the meantime.
* Scolding and disapproval. Make sure you reprimand your teen’s behavior, not your teen. Avoid using a sarcastic, demeaning or disrespectful tone. Also, avoid reprimanding your teen in front of his or her friends.
* Imposing additional responsibilities. Assign your teen additional household tasks.
* Imposing additional restrictions. Take away a privilege or possession that’s meaningful to your teen, such as computer time or a cell phone.
* Asking your teen to suggest a consequence. Your teen may have an easier time accepting a consequence if he or she has played a role in deciding it.
Whatever disciplinary tactic you choose, relate the consequences to the broken rule and deliver them immediately. Limit punishments to a few hours or days to make them most effective. Also, avoid punishing your teen when you’re angry. Likewise, don’t impose penalties you’re not prepared to carry out — and punish only the guilty party, not other family members. Never use physical harm to discipline your teen.
Set a positive example
Remember, teens learn how to behave by watching their parents. Your actions generally speak louder than your words. Set a positive example and your teen will likely follow your lead.
Article Source: parenting.blogs.nytimes.com
Article by: Lisa Belkin
The talk of Britain this past weekend was whether or not a 13-year-old boy named Alfie is the father of a one-week-old baby girl. Alfie and Chantelle, the 15-year-old mother, say the baby is his, but two other teenagers have been stepping forward to say that they, too, had sex with the girl around the time that the child was conceived.
British politicians have also been stepping forward — to wring their hands and declare this a sign of a “broken Britain,” where the teen pregnancy rate is the highest in Western Europe. Sir Bernard Ingham, former press secretary to Margaret Thatcher, called the whole affair evidence that “we’ve lost our way, that people don’t know the difference between right and wrong.”
It is certainly evidence that one little boy did not know very much at all about sex. His father has told reporters that while the two children were regularly allowed to share a bed, he had not yet gotten around to talking to his son about where babies come from.
He will soon, he promised. A little late, in this case, but still a good idea. Studies repeatedly show that when parents talk early and often about sex, children are more likely to postpone sexual activity until they are older, and also more likely to use protection once they become sexually active.
And the talks, experts say, should not just be about sperm meeting egg, but also about emotions, and consequences and more. Research by the Rand Corporation released in the March issue of the journal Pediatrics last year, lists 22 different topics parents should cover, including “decisions about whether to have sex, consequences of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, selection of a birth control method, what it feels like to have sex and protection offered by condoms.”
You know what you have to do. But how to begin? The good news is that you have something your parents did not — the Internet — where there are countless tips on what to say and how to say it. Planned Parenthood’s site, for instance, includes a list of age appropriate conversation starters. A few examples:
YOUNG CHILDREN
Do you know the names of all your body parts?
Do you know why girls look different than boys?
Your aunt is pregnant. Do you know what that means?
PRETEENS
People change a lot during puberty. What have you heard about the changes of puberty? How do you feel about going through puberty?
At what age do you think a person should start dating? Have any of your friends started dating?
Do you think girls and boys are treated differently? (If yes …) How?
TEENS
How have you changed in the last two years? What do you like and what do you not like about the changes?
At what age do you think a person is ready to have sex? How should a person decide?
At what age do you think a person is ready to be a parent?
And if you don’t feel comfortable just sitting down out of the blue and launching into the subject, conversation triggers are everywhere. Any movie rated PG and above has a scene or two that can serve as a segue. A Web site in Britain collected names of films that parents (though, apparently, not Alfie’s parents) find particularly useful for this, including “Three Men and a Baby,” “Romeo and Juliet,” “Look Who’s Talking,” “Father of the Bride,” “High School Musical,” “Titanic” and “Mamma Mia!”
Or, if you aren’t inclined to go rent a video, just turn on the television or flip through a magazine and you are moments away from ads for any number of intimate or sexualized products. The ED treatments alone could launch an entire human sexuality curriculum.
And, lucky you, there are likely to be more such conversational catalysts from which to choose. The Los Angeles Times confirmed on Friday what you might have already noticed — that the recession has led to a relaxation of the rules about what kinds of ads can run on radio and television. “The Absolut Vodka commercials that aired in Los Angeles and 14 other cities during Sunday night’s Grammy Awards marked the first time in years that liquor ads ran in prime time on network-owned stations,” reporter Alana Semuels wrote. “Also crowding the airwaves during heavy viewing hours are infomercials once reserved for the middle of the night and ads touting extramarital affairs and the intimate uses of K-Y Jelly.”
Meaning you can put your hands over your children’s eyes, or you can start talking.
Similarly, Southwest Airways unveiled, with great fanfare, the newest addition to its fleet last week — a Boeing 737 painted with a 100-foot-long soft-porn likeness of model Bar Rafaeli, wearing a barely there bikini, taken from the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. Sit in seat 4A and you will be staring out through her left breast. You can cringe while standing at the gate waiting to board with your kids, or you can talk about realistic body image and the objectification of women.
And if you’d prefer not to turn on the television, and you have no plans to go to the airport? Try talking about the day’s news as a jumping-off point. Maybe start with the story of Alfie, the 13-year-old baby-faced boy in England, who may or may not have a baby of his own.
Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Rachael Lever
I’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood, go figure, and while I don’t really consider myself a veteran of motherhood (my oldest is only six), I certainly feel like I’ve been in the trenches for a long time.
I’ve been watching the “new mothers” that I know, and I’ve come to a realization. I’m really glad that I’m not them. I am really glad that I’ve already had four babies and that I’ve been able to calm down a little, and not worry so much about all the little things that you worry about when you’re only on your first. I am also really glad that I had a great mom who raised me to not only be a good person and a good woman, but also taught me how to be a good mother.
I hate to say it, because I don’t want to offend anyone, but I’m afraid that the natural, common sense instincts of mothering are being lost. Our new mothers are relying too much on books, and doctors, and what everyone else is telling them, and they have forgotten, and not even learned how to trust themselves and their own intuition.
I was lucky to have a mom who could teach me how to be a good mother. Here are some of the things that I learned from her that I think every mother should know.
* How to work. It is alarming to me how many mothers are turning the job of raising their children over to other people. You may not agree with me here, but if you stay home with your baby, and your husband goes to work, it’s your job to get up with the baby at night. It is your job to keep the house clean for your family. It is your job to be a “home maker”. I know there’s a lot of complaining about husbands not helping out and not doing their part, but if he’s the one bringing home the bacon, it’s your job to cook it. And it’s also your job to learn how to do it right.
* How to change a diaper. Do you know that there are some women out there, having babies of their own, who do not even know how to change diapers?
* How to hold a baby. How much more stressful is bringing home your very own, brand new baby, when you have zero experience with babies?
* How to fix and make things. My mom taught me how to sew, and knit, and cook, and clean. It’s important to know some basic homemakings skills, skills that are not being passed down.
* Your responsibility as a mother. Children are a huge responsibility. I’m afraid that some women are not really aware, even after they give birth, that they have a responsibility to their child that extends beyond basic care. You are responsible to teach, care, nurture, prepare, and strengthen her children. You can’t do that when you are out gallivanting. I’m not saying that you don’t deserve a night out, or a lunch with the girls, but there is a sad trend toward women being too selfish and turning the raising of their children over to grandparents, day cares, and babysitters. FI you birth the baby, you need to accept the fact that your life changes.
* Motherhood is a joy, not a burden. Put on your happy face. Play with your kids. Remember why you had kids in the first place. Don’t let society tell you that you are less than you are because you are a mother. Don’t buy into the myth that you have to “do it all” to be fulfilled as a woman.
Motherhood is becoming a lost art. We are careering ourselves right out of our homes, and we are doing a disservice to our daughters who will know even less than we do. While I support equality and all that stuff, we just can’t deny the fact that men and women are different. Men will never give birth. Our girls should have some education in homemaking and child rearing skills, because it is likely that at some point in their life they will have to practice them, and if they don’t know how, their lives will become frustrating and unhappy.
It is our job now, as the mothers of the next generation, to bring up qualified mothers for the next, If you are lacking skills, learn them. If you are too selfish to let your kids make messes while they learn how to clean, change your attitude. Step up to your responsibility as a mother and teach your daughters how to be the mother you wish you were.
Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Tom McMahon
It feels good to the touch and smells even better. It can transform into whatever you can imagine. What began as a wallpaper cleaner in 1956 is now known as one of the most popular toys in history: Play-Doh.
Who would have thought that a toy created 52 years ago would still be popular enough today to get more than a million hits on Google? The parent company of Play-Doh, Hasbro, sells more than a hundred products that children can use with the “Doh.” Ninety-eight million cans of it are sold each year.
Homemade “Play Dough” costs just pennies and can be prepared in your kitchen in a matter of minutes. There are hundreds of different variations and recipes. My daughter and I spent the greater part of a Saturday mixing up numerous concoctions, followed by serious testing by the kids in our neighborhood. We were on a mission to find the best recipes, and we succeeded! Here are two good ones.
Both of the recipes below are superb and inexpensive. Store in a covered container. Children should not eat the dough. Offer your child safe kitchen utensils, especially cookie cutters, as tools for their creations. The Play-Doh Fun Factory toys are excellent.
SMELL-DOUGH: Mix 3 cups flour, half-cup salt and 1 tablespoon alum. Add two packages unsweetened Kool-Aid, 3 tablespoons oil and 2 cups boiling water. Mix well, then place on a cutting board. When cool, knead with your hands. — Jennifer G., Moraga
KOOL-AID PLAY DOUGH: Mix 1 cup flour, half-cup salt and 2 teaspoons cream of tartar in a medium saucepan. Mix 1 cup water, 1 tablespoon oil and 1 package unsweetened Kool-Aid (or a few drops of food coloring) in a glass measuring cup and pour into the saucepan. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon while cooking over medium heat until the mixture forms a ball. Place on a cutting board. When cool, knead with your hands. — Anonymous
Here are some more tips:
LEAKY DIAPERS: Our baby’s diaper leaked during the night, so we stuck a cloth diaper inside the next-size disposable diaper. — S.H., Milwaukie, Ore.
NOTICE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE POSITIVE: Catch your children in the act of doing something right or helpful, even if it’s something as trivial as clearing their plate from the table. Tell them you appreciate it! Make a conscious effort to notice the positive things they do and focus on those. — Phyllis A., Papillion, Neb. CALM, CLEAR AND QUICK DISCIPLINE: Most teens learn that if they argue long enough, they’ll eventually get their way by wearing you down. The best discipline is explained clearly and administered calmly. This strategy has worked well with my teens. — L.H., Windsor
Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Terreece Clarke
The cool thing about parenting is it evolves and grows just as our children do. One thing to try with your kids that may lead to both some interesting conversations and opportunities for growth and learning is simply to ask “Why?”
When your teen is upset about not being allowed to do something, ask them, “Why do you think I won’t let you go?” Be prepared for a warped perspective on your own thinking and reasoning, but follow up with “Why am I wrong?”
You may find out your kids have a “They’re out to get me” belief about your parenting choices, but you may also learn the reasons why they are interested in what they are interested in. This creates an opportunity for you both to be heard and understood, even if don’t agree.
In younger children, it teaches them to think analytically about cause and effect, relationships and gives you greater insight into how their little brains work.
So try turning the tables on the kids and ask “Why?”
Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Dodie Bartlett
What happened to the good old days where people were concerned about family values?
Those days are long gone along with decent family entertainment and family time. So how do we get these values back and reclaim good family time?
One is to make sure that our families understands that people like Nadya Suleman are not to be used as any kind of role model. She lies to gain what she wants, cheats to get it, and steals what is not hers and that is not something any parent wants their children to learn. Make sure to explain to your children that these traits are not acceptable and that it hurts other people.
The second is by taking a look at what you do in your own home. Do you try and watch movies that might not be so great for the kids while they are still up? Try making a schedule and institute a bed time so that way not only do you get time with your children but you also have time for yourself and for your spouse.
Disney still has some good family movies and programs out there to where you can select a program that everyone will like. Having dinner with your kids is very important as well. It does not hurt for parents to sit down at the dinner table with their children and ask how school was or what did they do during the day.
On the weekends , instead of trying to find out what is on the television, go outside and play with your kids. You can teach them how to ride bikes, roller skate, play at the park, make a snowman, and many other activities that can bring a family together.
Remember as parents, we have the awesome responsibilities to make sure that our children grow up to be responsible, loving, caring, and not little con artists. Take an interest in their feelings and try to leave your personal problems out of sight and ear shot of the children. You would be surprised how much children learn when you are busy yelling at someone versus staying calm and just talk.
