Playtime with children relieves stress, promotes strong bonds

Article Source: pittsburghlive.com
Article by: Kellie B. Gormly

Joe Walter’s toddler son, Daniel, used to get fussy when they would go out shopping together. With a little goofy humor, Walter turned the outings into a game.

When Walter and Daniel, 3, approach a sliding door to enter a big store, they jump up and down, and say, “One, two, three — Open Sesame!” Daniel now is excited about going shopping and passing through the “magic doors.”

“He just lights up when we do that,” says Walter, 40, of Ohio Township. He plays many other silly games with his son. “It just seems like he’s always in a pretty good mood. I think he knows that every day, we’re going to have fun doing something.”

Adulthood can be full of complications and stress, compared to the magic and carefree nature of childhood. Why not take some time just to goof off and be silly with your kids? Go ahead and giggle with your kids, tickle them, make funny faces, invent wacky games and play make-believe together, experts recommend; the play time benefits both the parent and child.

“It’s a bonding activity between parents and their children,” says Bob Brinker. He is a parent and community educator for the Greensburg-based ParentWISE program of Harmar-based Family Services of Western Pennsylvania.

“So often, we look at parenting as drudgery and diapers,” Brinker says. “Sometimes, we get so caught up in the frustrations.”

Playing and goofing off with your child not only provides bonding, but also stress relief, Brinker says. The silly times together also can help kids feel more comfortable with their parents, because they have entered the youngster’s world, and, for a moment, eliminated the generational gap.

“It’s a way to see the world through a child’s eyes,” Brinker says.

To enjoy goof-off times with your child, he says, focus just on the moment, not on the fact that you have dishes in the kitchen sink that need to be washed. Be alert for sudden opportunities that come up, like a funny moment on television.

Barbara Wollman, a licensed clinical social worker for Squirrel Hill Psychological Services and registered play-therapy supervisor, says that not all parents have a particularly playful personality. Still, if they’re not comfortable giggling on the floor with their kids, the parents still can use humor by reading funny books with their kids, she says.

Learning what kind of silly play your child enjoys involves observing, trial and error, Wollman says. If the child doesn’t seem to like one activity, try another, she recommends.

Parents “shouldn’t give up if children don’t respond right away to their silliness,” Wollman says. “Look for things you have in common. … Sometimes, it’s just watching and encouraging.”

Playing and goofing off together, she says, is “just a truly lovely, bonding experience when it’s used in the right way.”

“That’s just so rewarding, and you’re enjoying each other so much,” Wollman says. “It just lifts your mood and … creates good memories.”

Dawn and Steve Smith of Westmoreland City say they have a pretty silly household that their young son, Xander, appreciates. The couple — both of whom have elementary education backgrounds — constantly do pretend play with Xander, 4, like having picnics in their living room, complete with blankets and lunch boxes. They also have mock camp-outs in their living room, and even have pillow fights. Perhaps Xander’s favorite activity is mock wrestling with his dad on the floor, Dawn Smith says.

All of these activities bond the family together, she says.

“We’re all very close,” Dawn Smith says. “We speak his language. We have like our own family language. … We’re buddies, the three of us.”

Silly Games

According to an article on the Web site of Parents magazine, the best way to bond with your kids is to just have fun together. Need help with ideas?

• Make up a new holiday, like Polka-Dot Day or Purple Day, and celebrate it.

• Throw a birthday party for your child’s doll. Wrap up a few gifts, put up streamers and balloons, and get a mock or real birthday cake.

• Open a petting zoo in your house. Placed stuffed animals around the room, pet each one, and talk about what they like to eat.

• Camp out in your living room, with sleeping bags, tent and flashlight.

• Form a family band. Have everyone grab an instrument and jam to a CD.

• Imitate animals. Practice hopping like a frog, squirming like a worm, waddling like a duck and stretching like a cat.

• Play restaurant, in a real kitchen or pretend one. Everyone can take turns acting the part of the customer, server and chef.

• Offer horsy rides, with you on your hands and knees. Let your child ride on your back while you neigh and pretend to chew hay.

• Do fun, creative crafting projects together, like finger-painting with dyed vanilla pudding, or making jewelry out of Cheerios or uncooked pasta.

• Take a ball and go bowling, with empty water bottles or soda cans as the pins.

• On a rainy day, splash in the puddles together.

• Dance on a big piece of bubble wrap taped to the floor.