What kind of mothers are you raising?

Article Source: examiner.com
Article by: Rachael Lever

I’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood, go figure, and while I don’t really consider myself a veteran of motherhood (my oldest is only six), I certainly feel like I’ve been in the trenches for a long time.

I’ve been watching the “new mothers” that I know, and I’ve come to a realization. I’m really glad that I’m not them. I am really glad that I’ve already had four babies and that I’ve been able to calm down a little, and not worry so much about all the little things that you worry about when you’re only on your first. I am also really glad that I had a great mom who raised me to not only be a good person and a good woman, but also taught me how to be a good mother.

I hate to say it, because I don’t want to offend anyone, but I’m afraid that the natural, common sense instincts of mothering are being lost. Our new mothers are relying too much on books, and doctors, and what everyone else is telling them, and they have forgotten, and not even learned how to trust themselves and their own intuition.

I was lucky to have a mom who could teach me how to be a good mother. Here are some of the things that I learned from her that I think every mother should know.

* How to work. It is alarming to me how many mothers are turning the job of raising their children over to other people. You may not agree with me here, but if you stay home with your baby, and your husband goes to work, it’s your job to get up with the baby at night. It is your job to keep the house clean for your family. It is your job to be a “home maker”. I know there’s a lot of complaining about husbands not helping out and not doing their part, but if he’s the one bringing home the bacon, it’s your job to cook it. And it’s also your job to learn how to do it right.

* How to change a diaper. Do you know that there are some women out there, having babies of their own, who do not even know how to change diapers?

* How to hold a baby. How much more stressful is bringing home your very own, brand new baby, when you have zero experience with babies?

* How to fix and make things. My mom taught me how to sew, and knit, and cook, and clean. It’s important to know some basic homemakings skills, skills that are not being passed down.

* Your responsibility as a mother. Children are a huge responsibility. I’m afraid that some women are not really aware, even after they give birth, that they have a responsibility to their child that extends beyond basic care. You are responsible to teach, care, nurture, prepare, and strengthen her children. You can’t do that when you are out gallivanting. I’m not saying that you don’t deserve a night out, or a lunch with the girls, but there is a sad trend toward women being too selfish and turning the raising of their children over to grandparents, day cares, and babysitters. FI you birth the baby, you need to accept the fact that your life changes.

* Motherhood is a joy, not a burden. Put on your happy face. Play with your kids. Remember why you had kids in the first place. Don’t let society tell you that you are less than you are because you are a mother. Don’t buy into the myth that you have to “do it all” to be fulfilled as a woman.

Motherhood is becoming a lost art. We are careering ourselves right out of our homes, and we are doing a disservice to our daughters who will know even less than we do. While I support equality and all that stuff, we just can’t deny the fact that men and women are different. Men will never give birth. Our girls should have some education in homemaking and child rearing skills, because it is likely that at some point in their life they will have to practice them, and if they don’t know how, their lives will become frustrating and unhappy.

It is our job now, as the mothers of the next generation, to bring up qualified mothers for the next, If you are lacking skills, learn them. If you are too selfish to let your kids make messes while they learn how to clean, change your attitude. Step up to your responsibility as a mother and teach your daughters how to be the mother you wish you were.